Thursday, August 25, 2005

Time is precious...

The papers have arrived the mobilisation has suddenly become official and very real. I’m glad its official at work now so I can get the financial ball rolling, one of my major concerns has been how does the whole pay situation work. I know we get our wages paid by the Army to the same level we earn normally but I have share plan deductions, my pension, payments on a laptop I purchased from BT and others. All those payments are direct from my salary so I’ve got to sort all them out so when I return I haven’t lost out on future benefits and savings. Time however is ticking by extremely quickly, I feel as though I can see the time disappearing like sand from an hour glass. The annoying thing is, as with the sand from an hour-glass, you can watch each day go by and each day seems more important as departure gets ever closer and the sand becomes less. Why am I becoming concerned about the lack of time before departure? Isn’t this what I’ve always wanted? It’s never been a concern before in fact even the opposite wishing the time away… Of course as I have always said this is something I desperately want to experience and it is the ultimate life challenge I have dreamed of. But life is a beast and creates paths and obstacles you least expect. With Beth in my life now I have to contend with the inevitable emotions and longing to be with some one, knowing time is now your enemy. This has added the edge I was once to be spared, it was quite straight forward when I had no one to love in my life, “when its time to go leave” but now it’s not quite so easy. I’ve been using all my leave up from work as when I come back it will be a new year and a new allocation of leave. During the time off me and Beth went up to Scotland for 3 nights and stayed in a nice hotel near Fort William. We then spent 4 days at the V festival and the other days just being together. The time me and Beth have together seems more precious every day and that forces the emotions and inner feelings towards one another to morph constantly higher and deeper making every moment count. As the time passes by the essential focus seems to be on creating memories to be shared and looked back on in the coming months…