Going To War....

It would be strange for me to say it’s a difficult thing to imagine, as all my life since I could string a thought together of my own and actually understand what I watched on TV as a very young boy I’ve been imagining it. Although with age and the inevitable awareness of the real world, the vision I have has distorted to a vision based more on reality and I suppose uncertainty. As I grew up watching all the war films I could find and playing soldiers till I was old enough to join the cadets I wanted to be a soldier. Coming with the dream of being a soldier is that inner feeling the only true way of achieving that life goal is to be a soldier in a theatre of war, a soldier at war. To have experienced that I would have experienced the one thing I have needed to experience all my life. Needed may be a strong word to use but I suppose it comes back to what parents say about there children, he just needs to get it out of his system. I suppose that could be one answer or it could be I’m built differently to lots other people and this is just something I need to do for myself and will continue to do after the first time as its what I may be destined for. I did have thoughts that the ambition I had of joining the Army would not be a life long career as there were other things that interested me in life other than running round in green with a rifle. When I left school I went to college and completed 2 years education in computers, with the purpose that if my dreams of soldiering didn’t come to be reality I would have qualifications to fall back on. Mind you if my ambitions were achieved, I wouldn’t really be gaining any qualifications to use in civilian life any way so I would need prior qualifications. I wanted to be an Infantry soldier, the infantry giving the largest chance to be in the thick of it if the chance came to go to war, that’s the basic facts of a young boys dream that evolved with time. The only qualifications gained as an Infantry soldier would revolve around killing and the tactics of killing. The only opportunities I could think those talents would bring me if I tried to use them in civilian life would be the headline news due to a comfy position in a clock tower or a random spree in a shopping centre. So my life took its selected path my dreams of soldiering were over after being medically discharged from the Army during training still with aspirations of rejoining to complete my dreams. Getting back to civilian life and joining the rat race, becoming restricted by all those things we call a life. A career, girlfriend and a social life. All those things soon put a comfy stop to my desire and choice to return to the Army with all considered I had got to the point of no return....